Cleaving and Putting Asunder: Marriage and Divorce

In a Christian marriage ceremony the groom and bride exchange covenantal promises with one another and make vows to God that the marriage will continue “until death do us part.” God says of the marriage relationship, “Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Matt 19:6). Sadly and unfortunately, the covenantal promises to one another and vows to God notwithstanding, some Christians choose to terminate their marriage before death by divorce.

Cleaving and putting asunder:

The word cleave = to glue, to stick, to adhere firmly and closely or loyally and unwaveringly. The word implies permanence.

The word asunder = all to pieces, one part from the other, to shred. To put asunder is to tear. The same Greek word for asunder is used in Acts 1:18,: “Now this man [Judas] purchased a field with the reward of iniquity; and falling headlong, he burst asunder in the midst, and all his bowels gushed out.”

It is God that joins together in marriage. The two are one flesh. It is impossible to separate one flesh. But it is possible for one flesh to be torn, cut and, broken asunder by divorce.

It is God that commands that marriage not be put asunder – torn, cut, or broken apart.

Divorce hurts, but it does more than hurt. It causes anguish, anger, animosity, and bitterness – spiritually and emotionally of the husband/wife, children, extended families, and friends. Divorce is one tragedy that is worse than death. It never ends.

Marriage breakdown and violence:

There are ever-increasing reports of meaningless, senseless violence wracking havoc in every segment of our society. Polls report that most perpetrators of this violence are products of broken families. Children and teenagers are either living in a single-parent home (single as the result of divorce or a parent who never married) or living in a foster home. But the violence that makes the news merely serves as a cover for the mass of unreported violence.

Divorce, remarriage, broken families, a step-parent home, a cohabitation home, a foster home are the root cause of most of today’s anguish, anger, animosity, bitterness, and violence.

Here’ one person’s thoughts:

The divorce statistics have fluctuated some but basically, they haven’t moved much in years. The rate of divorce for first marriages is close to 50%; for second marriages, it is close to 66%.

So it probably doesn’t come as a surprise that you or someone you know has had experience with divorce.

In my family, the divorce tally is: my parents, two aunts, an uncle, a sister (twice), and a stepbrother. My parents both remarried to spouses who were also divorced. All told, total divorces: 9. Total number of children impacted: 16.

The National Opinion Research Council conducted a survey of adult children of divorce that spanned more than 20 years. Here’s what they found: In 1973, adult children of divorce were 172% more likely to get divorced than adult children from intact homes. In 1999, adult children of divorce were only 50% more likely to get divorced than adult children from intact homes … which sounds like good news.

However, the bad news is that the survey also found a 26% lower rate of marrying in the first place among adult children of divorced parents.

The reality is that your parents’ divorce will have an impact on your marriage. We first learn about love and marriage from our parents. We learn what it means to be a man, woman, husband, wife, mother and father from them. We learn about trust. We learn how to handle conflict and difficult times … or, not. Leslie Doares

Responding to the crisis:

All of the teachings of God’s Word on marriage, divorce, and remarriage notwithstanding, it is a fact that an ever-increasing number of people, including Christians, are divorcing and remarrying. Sadly, some are now divorcing and remarrying multiple times. Among the many factors contributing to this divorce epidemic are: One, neglect by the Church in scripturally preaching and teaching on the subject of marriage, divorce and remarriage, and two, “no-fault” divorce laws in all 50 states.

Only the Lord’s Church can provide the truth and solution to the rapidly increasing divorce epidemic. But this will happen only when the Church and Christians choose to agree with God about marriage and divorce. Divorce violates God’s Word and orderly way. God hates divorce. We must hate what God hates. The sin of divorce must be acknowledged, confessed, repented of, and forsaken. Of course, God will forgive the sin of divorce if and when the terms of His Word are met.

The past cannot be relived and, generally speaking, the past cannot be changed for those who have experienced divorce and remarriage. And let’s face it. The combined efforts of the Church and the legislature will never completely eliminate divorce under the best of circumstances. But since divorce is first and foremost a spiritual issue and not principally a legal problem, the Church must provide the leadership to stop the hemorrhaging and minimize the damages of divorce in the future.

Christians who have divorced and/or divorced and remarried are not offended by nor do they object to and resent Scriptural preaching on these subjects if they have truly dealt with the subject in obedience to God’s Word. Rather, they will joyfully accept such preaching as a springboard of praise and rejoicing that God has extended His grace and forgiveness to them.

Reaping the whirlwind:

Having sown to the wind by rejecting God’s ordained and orderly way of marriage America is now reaping the whirlwind.

Biblical marriage of “one man for one woman and one woman for one man until death do us part” is now the exception and not the rule; biblical families are now the exception and not the rule; divorce and divorce and remarriage are now practiced and accepted as the norm; cohabitation is now practiced and accepted as the norm; interracial marriage is now practiced and accepted as the norm; ‘same-sex marriage’ is now practiced and accepted as the norm. God’s ordained foundation and original building design for marriage and families has once again been perverted and is in shambles.

First things first:

America’s so-called ‘same-sex marriage’ debacle is will never be solved until God’s ordained orderly way of marriage is obeyed. A Herald subscriber said it well, “The final litmus test for all parts of our pagan American culture including Christendom will be the homosexual issue. Embrace and live at “peace,” reject and live under growing scorn and eventual persecution. When a people reach a point of utter generational rebellion and reprobation the Lord turns them over to the destruction of their vile choices (Rom 1). As they grow in reprobation those choices become holy and sacred to those that embraces them. Thus, the divide between the righteous and wicked will grow in increasing animosity for An unjust man is an abomination to the righteous, And he who is upright in the way is an abomination to the wicked. Proverbs 29:27. Never the twain shall meet … even so come Lord Jesus!”

By Robert McCurry – The Wake-Up Herald –

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Author: David McElroy

David Allen McElroy has served as a journalist and a chaplain to hospitals and nursing homes. He continues writing on the world-wide web and has much archived in the forum at BreakingAllTheRules.com. He has a B.A. in Bible from Fresno Pacific College. David stands for Truth, Justice, & Liberty in Christ's Love!